The Praetorian Class in Myth and War...

Make no mistake about it, there is a cultural counter-revolution going on this country. Centrism of the bargain-minded Joe Lieberman variety is dead. There is no center; the center is nothing but a corpse being fought over a few hyenas. The Praetorian class knows this instinctively, in a time of maximum ideological ferment; the center is a particular electoral cohort to be dragged as far to the right as possible-nothing more.

And yet the above counter-revolution has many of the aspects of an old-fashioned civil war-one directed by and large at the so-called “baby boom generation”. Generational conflict, the need to humble and disenfranchise and entire electoral cohort forms the crux of Praetorian ideology. This war has two axes, an assault on the entitlements expected by said generation, notably their social security benefits, and the perennial fight against the egalitarian ideas espoused by the Woodstock Nation.

The Praetorian Class sees what happens here at home to be a perfect extension of their bumptious and bellicose foreign policy notions. Martial, and even strident, the Praetorians themselves as individuals are curiously light in combat experience. This however does not prevent them from questioning the patriotism of men shot and tortured in service to the republic. They can do this because, as a class they are inheritors of a periodic domestic war psychosis…they are fighting the “enemy within” and therefore are allowed any excess.

As ideology goes, the Praetorian Class is less animated by ideas than by an interlocking series of cherished myths.

There is the myth of Small Government: This is a notion that somewhat contradictory, movement conservative leadership is supposed to somehow shirt the alleged federal colossus down to a size where is will somehow function efficiently, or else said government will become so emasculated the polity will somehow “go elsewhere” for services once provided by the public sector. Neither notion has much basis in reality, most small government is preached as a justification to either rig the tax code in favor of the rich or simply abolish taxation as means of public funding.

There is the myth of Christian Politics: SOMEHOW, the New Testament with its Praetors and Pharisees is an infallible guide to contemporary politics right down to the micro level. This is an absurd notion in every way. Revealed religion in this context is mostly used as get-out-the-vote/fundraising engine. The Praetorians love Christian Politics precisely because of its blind zeal and simplicity. The Praetorian intelligentsia is also all about zeal over critical thinking so this is a good match.

There is the myth of Rugged Individualism: Freed of the chains of statism, man is supposed to become a sort of free market superman, seeking profit and growing the economy at no expense to anyone. Rugged Individualism is a old American faith going back to Rutherford B. Hayes. Its biggest supporters tend to be market worshipping autistics….but many entirely normally people buy into it without delving too deeply into what it all means.

And there is the myth of Grievance: Somehow the Praetorian Class has acquired a belief that they have been discriminated against by certain ever changing elites. Grievance also cloaks the pseudo-populism that infects the Praetorians especially around election time. To hear them tell it this collection of millionaires, radio talk show tyrants, “embattled” columnists, fixers, and politicians are a marked hunted breed.

All these myths, run together in hopes that this will produce a New Kind of Man, a “homo conservatus”. This would be a sort of ideology-forged American Robot infused with perfect moral transcendence via conservative values.

None of this is ever going to happen, any more than Snoopy the Easter Beagle will come dancing up my front stairs some Sunday Morning. But it’s the actions the myths relentlessly inspire that is the key here. A lot of our money is going to be wasted and many lives ruined before the myth of “homo conservatus” is laid to rest.

The Great Weaseling?

Maybe Romney really is looking to do a big fade before campaign 06’? According to today’s Globe Decaf has been overcome by a fit of nuanced coyness about his re-election plans.
Instead of simply saying “Yeah I’m in” Romney is saying strangely passive aggressive things like “Plan on it” or “Plan on my being there”. This is an odd choice of words if you think about it.
Even if he declined to run in 2006, he’d still have to “be there” in order to jimmy whatever slaphappy loser the GOP nominated into office. In other words, he has to “be there” whether he is in the race or not. And just what the hell does “plan on it” really mean anyway?
We can plan on a lot of things, we can conceivably bet the farm on Hubert Horatio Humphrey rising from the dead and leading Custer’s Seventh Cavalry on a death charge up the State House steps for that matter. Doesn’t mean it will happen, “plan on it,” sounds awfully sneaky and disingenuous the more I think about it.
Who would Romney gin up to replace him? Kerry Healey, oh lord that’ll be the day! Mitt has made his bones in the Commonwealth stomping on women politicians of both parties, you can bet he will shove the Lt. Governor aside in favor of some feckless ass-hole when the time comes.
Of course all this may come to nothing. More than likely he will run. Romney is just keeping his numerous options open and doesn't care a fig if it makes him look like a greedy dishonest hack.

Jacoby "eulogizes" Thompson

Good Ghod But Jeff Jacoby is a ruthless little praetorian bastard isn’t he? There are never any inappropriate times to wallow in one’s agenda with that guy.
He has an “obit” today for the late Hunter S. Thompson that is utterly churlish in every way. Jeff seems rotten glad that Thompson died and postively gleeful that it was a suicide as it gives the Globe columnist a chance to sanctimoniously lecture the serfs about the evils of suicide and the drug culture.
Forget about respect for the dead, the man who sermonized a few short weeks ago on the evils of “Bush Hatred” now dumps all over the Thompson family in their hour of grief. Jeff is a shrill little toady there are no other words for it. Jeff simply doesn't approve of their reaction to his suicide, and so much be chastised in the public prints. Jacoby, that laughing young senescence, demands sacerdotal respect for his idols but all others are fair game.
Pricks like Jeff need to ideologically colonize all debates no matter how tasteless it may seem. Why else would he end today’s column with a preposterous comparison between the Pope’s quiet suffering and Hunter S. Thompson’s “death wish”? This was a notion first bandied about by Michael Medved on BCTV last Saturday, clearly jeff has nothing better to do on the weekends but look for column ideas from Mother Angelica.
There is just no point in demanding fairness or adherence to the rules of debate from these people. The Marquis of Queenberry's elegant are wasted on the Jeff Jacoby's of this world. Drunk on triumph, they are loud, cruel, and boorish.

Sick
Demented
Typical...

Alas poor Hunter though. It is a world run by vicious reptiles and wild dogs these days. And even the worst of these whipped curs will come out from their rat holes to tear at the flesh of a aging freak from Colorado.

Er-um belay dat order...

I actually start my new job Monday at 8:30am. So there are two more working days to fill this, the little blog that cried, with ever more gross and incontinent calumny-with the weekend thrown in as well!

Anyone got a good rumor about Bush, Romney or some other rightical chic miscreant, drop me a note at:
Eliasnugator@yahoo.com

Meanwhile...

I start my new job tomorrow, so after seven full months of unemployment I am finally back on the job. Consequently this blog may become updated on a irregular basis-we will see how it goes.
However, Joshua Micah Marshall is making a great deal of sense as usual so by all mean check out his blog.

Dan Kennedy and Scot Lehigh are both

conjuring with the notion that Mitt Romney will NOT be running for re-election next year. In Scot's case I suspect he is simply trying to remind the Viceroy and his henchpeople to stay focused on 2006 not 2008. As for Dan Kennedy, I dunno he is pretty smart, so he could be on to something.
I for one doubt Decaf will bail on us in the end. The only way to be quit of Romney is to vote his boney ass out of office. It creates way too much political chaos for Mitt to turn tail this early. And if the governorship fell to the democrats next year, Mitt would have a lot of splainin' to do up in the snowy wilds of New Hampshire.
Nope, its to much of a leap into the unknown and ginnin' up Michael Sullivan or Kerry "La Poodle" Healey is plain crazy.
BUT
IF
Romney did drop out next year...how long before Joe Kennedy's giant computerized lucite map of Massachusetts got lit up in his private bunker down in Hyannisport? I doubt even forty eight hours would pass before his many loyalists would drag out their grenadier uniforms, run up the "JPK" flag up the pole, and swear have no other for governor.
Trust me though, Mitt is in, we will never be rid of him that easily.
Never...

Hate to play the parrot but...

The "Romney is a Fraud" blog makes a succinct case against the governor in their latest entry. It is the sort of argument that would take me five or so fusty paragraphs before I reached the point.
So check it out, as always RiaF is doing the lord's work.
:)