Monday, October 31, 2005

The other day...

(thanks to the vigilant patriots at Air America Radio) I heard George Bush stumbling through one of his terrorism speeches and specifically refer to the need to increase our security at "nu-key-or power pants".
This is the sort of malapropism one woudl associate with Moe Howard or Leo Gorcey...but it is pretty much par for the course with Bush in nearly all types of speeches right down to Rose Garden greetings for the West Virginia Miss Pumpkin Pageant Winner.
Usually I chalk these groaners and gaffes up to the Prez's neurotic need to appear dumber than his core constituency...but this was one of those occasions when he was actually trying to impress them with the danger and the lateness of the hour. "Nu-key-or power pants" would seem to undercut that goal, perhaps fatally so.
I long ago decided that Bush is completly dyslexic and incapable of admitting the fact to himself or his public.
Which is pretty much the man's life-pattern, can't admit he is a drunk, can't admit he stole two elections, can't admit he lied to start the Iraq war...can't admit he is a complete and utter asshole.
So you see these problems start at home and in youth.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Ninety or so Minutes til'

The current rumor is that Libby will be indicted whilst Rove will be left to languish in "legal jeopardy".
This is not quite the shitstorm of retribution that liberal blogosphere has been conjuring with...but it'll do for a start as far as I'm concerned.
Minimally, putting Scooter Libby on trial will expose just how much power Cheney has acculmulated outside his highly structured role as the alleged Vice President of the United States.
Of course, the above scenario does leave Karl Rove at liberty to organize a last ditch die-hard Stalingradian defense of La Famiglia Arbusto's Autocracy.
Thats assuming the Bush Family's star is still ascendent...and I'm beginning to wonder if destiny hasn't given up on GWB and his cartoonish crew.
My Ghod but I am throughly sick of this corrupt and power worshipping bunch! They've imported prison rules to the game and I hope the whole damn lot hear the crash of iron soonest!
Ah but La Famiglia Arbusto cannot be wished away...nothing less than a national, populist and progressive movement for real democratic renewal can overcome them.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Vennochi Reviseth...

Her current column extolling Former Governor Jane "Jingle Money" Swift State House Portraiture Unveiling, Joanie Vennochi indulged the following howler:
She ultimately dropped out of the governor's race in 2002. Her decision cleared the path for Mitt Romney to gain the GOP nomination and then the corner office.

Yez kin read da whole sidesplitting piece hyar.
Swift didn't "drop out" of the 2002 Governor's race, she was forced out by Christy Mihos who convinced Willard to abandon his plans to run for office in Utah on the basis of a single poll. Whereupon Mitt Romney flew back across the country like a vulture intent on carrion spouting lies and threats until Swift was shoved aside like an old sack of potatoes.
Where was all this concern, admiration and Girl Power Columnist Crap for Jingle Money back in 2002??
I heard nary a peep from Joanie, Scot and Jeff.
No no no...they were all swooning at Romney's feet desperate to line up behind behind any Republican no matter how inexperienced and duplicitous as long as said candidate protected them from the big bad state legislature.
One thing that never fails to amaze Humble Elias, is the infinite plasticity of the Pundit Memory.
Today's elegy is naught but Joanie's conscience bothering her...
She'd better make what peace she can with it, cause' 2006 is right around the corner and Joanie will have to mark out hard for some other hopelessly corrupt GOP hack if she wants to keep the State Lege at bay.
Ah well, such is the pain of a spiteful no-talent b*tch.

Miers Withdraws...

the sordid facts are herein detailed.
What they don't tell you is, Miers couldn't go on she has vanished.
Yup, secret DC sources tell me that Laura Bush accidentally spinned a bucket of warm water on Harriet last night, whereupon the Supreme Court Nominee melted into a puddle of ooze screaming like a banshee the whole time.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Latest Rumor from Out Washington DC is...

that the White House has already quietly sounded out John McCain on his willingness to be nominated for Vice President should Dick Cheney step down for "reasons of health" in the near future.
Me personally? I doubt nothing less than a flying squad of Army Rangers would be able to pry Dick from his Vice Presidential Fastness...but a near term resignation is certainly fun to think about.
Of course, if the above rumor is true, then McCain would be a fool to take the offer.
Why climb into La Famiglia Arbusto's burning lifeboat and compromise his mythic status among independent voters?
Moreover this is the same Admin that called him and psycho and worse in the SC Primary, to bail Bush out now makes McCain look craven and conniving.
Sure its a leg up on the nomination come 2008, but Barbara Bush, Jeb and GWB's Dad all know that too which is why they'll be working night and day to derail any prospect of John McCain becoming Cheney's mid-term replacement.
This is the famously autocratic and selfish Bush Family we are talking about, they only serve their own interests, John McCain's ambitions and the good of the nation can go to hell as far as they are concerned.
After all, Jeb hasn't had his turn yet as Overseer of Plantation USA.

Nope Humble Elias still sez the VP Card is:

Pennsylvania Senator Rick "High Pitched Rich" Santorum
Utah Senator Orrin "Oral" Hatch
Secretary of State Condoleeza "The Shoe Fetishist" Rice
Massachusetts Governor Willard Mitt Romney.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A Ringing Endorsement from the White House

From today's WH Press Conference:

QUESTION: Does the President have confidence in the Vice President?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: The Vice President is doing a great job as a member of this administration and the President appreciates all that he is doing.

Dickie yer doin' a heckuva job...

But seriously folks, the indictments haven't come down....yet.
And the last Humble Elias heard Cheney is at home in Wyoming, no doubt ordering Air Force 2 to be gassed up for a desperate flight to Riyadh where he'll proclaim his Government in Exile.

Rosa Parks is dead...

and the tributes, accolades, eulogies and heartfelt christian memorials are pouring in from all over the internet.

Monday, October 24, 2005

And another thing,

According to today's Globe Mitt Romney has been boasting before the troglydytes of Missouri and South Carolina that he "saved" Massachusetts from an entirely spurious three billion dollar shortfall without raising taxes.
Well, the record shows he raised 1.5 billion in fees and then suddenly within two years we had a surplus in Massachusetts thus demosntrated the Governor's original budget figures were raving nonsense.
However, that is not Humble Elias' point this morning, no he thinks it is hilarious that Mitt is trying to curry favor in Spartanburg South Carolina by claiming to have saved Massachusetts. His target demographic in the upcoming Republican Primaries couldn't care less about the Salvation of this Proud Commonwealth and would if they could happily dissolve Massachusetts and sell off the citizenry into slavery.
If you don't believe, check out the Yahoo Discussion Boards the next time their News Summary so much as mentions the Commonwealth, the cries go up for slaughter and slavery thick and fast...and if Hurricane Wilma somehow comes ashore here, the only things well can expect from fine christian Republicans of Missouri etc are ardent prayers that Wilma regain her category five status.

All this is yet another example of Willard's staggering political naivete'...if he was smart he'd resign and claim he was kidnapped and forced to act as Governor until he could escape and return to red state safety.

Smears of the Future...

a lot of seriously demented freepers and rightical chic types on the internet are deluding themselves with the spurious notion that come Wednesday or so, Patrick Fitzgerald will pull a sneaky 180' and indict Valerie Plame,Ambassador Joe Wilson and who knows perhaps Hubert Humphrey's unquiet bones.
This of course, plays to their innate royalism and hatred for the rule of law. How they wish and wish ardently their King (Be he Jesus or George) would sinply sic the furies on their own personal hate objects.
Its all very childish and a little embarrassing, but it does point up the next big freeper talking point; that is that Joe Wilson somehow broke the law by telling the truth and that his wife is a double agent or some such twaddle.
This line of lunacy will be spewed by Limbaugh, Hannity, Jacoby etc starting this week and it'll run like a cataract of raw liquified shit for the next five years or until Cheney turns himself in.
So you heard it here first, Joe and Valerie will come in for some appalling abuse starting this week.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Meanwhile, back in the State House

the lege's watered down drunk driving bill gives Mitt Romney a priceless chance to wag his bony finger at the Great and General Court and grab off a color photograph above the foldin today's Globe.
The Man must be simply writhing with ecstasy....
And on the op-ed page, his pantryman Scot Lehigh was groveling and toadying ad nauseum about Mitt's commitment to education reform.
One of Scot's missions as High Priest of the First Church of Romney, is to sell our increasingly detached, inept and inexperienced Governor as a man engaged full time in the challenging job of being Governor of the Commonwealth.
I'd say Lehigh earned his keep today.

Color me cynical but...

if Fitzgerald actually implicates Cheney in any wrongdoing next week, then how much yuh wann bet Dick resigns before the end of the year?
The Veep will cite his health or some maudlin nonsense like that....there will be no admission of guilt. However one must wonder if Cheney has the stamina for a serious legal battle?
My guess his he does not, which will leave Andy Card as Maximum Puppet Master in the White House and the go-to guy on a successor to Cheney.
Just a thought...

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Rice for Vice...

D.C. is sodden with rumors that Patrick Fitzgerald is about to indict Rove, Libby, Mary Matalin and just possibly cite Vice President Dick Cheney as an unindicted co-conspirator (in deference to his peculiar constitutional status).
Can you imagine the happy little mob that would gather outside the Veep's Official Residence to see The Dickmeister handcuffed and perp-walked into the back of a D.C. Police Cruiser?
Tis' a consummation devoutly to be wished.
Ah but who to replace this doughy old puppetmaster? The current whisper is Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice she of the shoe shopping spree on the very Day Katrina sank New Orleans.
And yes, like Harriet Miers she'd also be the second Bush Family Courtier raised up to high Constitutional Responsibilities.
Condi is of course a very bad choice, but luck may be with us, the usual GOP senate staffers can't figure out if she is pro-choice or not that and her decorous lack of a husband may well squelch this noxious notional nomination soonest.
Nope my money is on a nominee from out the Senate's Laggard Caucus, either someone with too tough a re-election campaign like Rick "High Pitched Rich" Santorum or some groveling old bastard like Orrin Hatch.
Whoever it is, it will not be a man or woman of honor, patriotism or ability, those are tthe wrong qualities in Bush's America.


Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The Art of the Possible...

I dunno, but if you ask me, I say Andy Card is at the bottom of the Plame-Rove-Liddy-Cheney scandal.
Frankly he may be the secret and perfect stoolie in this matter.
I mean think about it, Andy has been cleaning up La Famiglia's Arbusto's messes for nigh on twenty five years now, a Former Secretary of Transportation and Massachusetts GOP Macher now reduced to tattered courtier status. And its not like he can ever escape that role either, whats he gonna do? Come back to the Commonwealth and run for Governor?
Hell no, the aging Grandees of the local Republican Party (which is now nothing but a collection of fundraising P.O. boxes) don't know Andy from a cord of wood. Even if he won, whats he gonna do then? Run for President in 2012 and get run through a wood-chipper by Marvin, Jeb or Noelle Bush?
No, Andy's only hope is the life of a lackey. Nonetheless I do suspect him of having strong "Hop Frog" tendencies that is to say a earnest even fanatical desire to get Norquist, Rove and perhaps even Cheney himself out of the way in the grand style of Edgar Allan Poe's vengeful court jester.
And why the hell not?
Andy has been around GWB for a good long time now, he knows where the President's wires are, what to pull to release that infamous smirk and all like that.
Why should Andy have to shre power with cavorting Nibelungs and squalid revolutionaries like Karl Rove and John Bolton?
The GOP may well go off a cliff next year in the mid-terms so its pretty much a given that Karl Rove and his machine has pretty much served its purpose...maybe Andy Card wants to shove him aside and seize center stage for the remainder of GWB's misbegotten term.
If Card plays his "cards" right, he might even be able to compel Cheney's resignation, who out ther thinks old Dick has the health and the stamina for a serious legal battle?
I think Andy is betting he has not...and then Oh Boy the fun begins, the guy who hold's Bush's hat will be virtually naming the next Vice President of the USA!
Imagine a neverous little shit like Rick Santorum forced to cool his heels in Andy's outer office while the White House Chief of Staff interviews Orrin Hatch, who sits there hat in hand like Marshal Petain.
If Card can avoid getting his fingerprints on this mishaugas then it's very heady stuff, not to normal people like us mind you, but to a fawning truckling passive aggressive little lackey, its like winning the Powerball.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

If the Taunton Dam gives way...

(and lets all hope it does not) much you wanna bet Romney will fly over in his State Police Helicopter to only discover to his chagrin that he is viewing Taunton Massachusetts not Taunton New Hampshire?
Okay that was mean, but last week Mitt couldn't care less and now this week he is Captain Catastrophe commanding the proles to stock up on condensed milk and canned stew against the coming bird flu plague.
Good grief, I take back last week's diatribe, we are so much worse off when Willard contrives to express his concern over our welfare.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Another Sunday in the Boston Globe...

Jeff Jacoby is threatening to hold his breath until he turns blue unless Augusto Pinochet is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize
Okay...maybe not, but the Globe's own laughing young senescence sure does have a cranky side doesn't he?

Speaking of crankiness, whassup with Joanie Vennochi these days? She keeps trying to plunge that teensy little dagger of hers into John Kerry's back...and he keeps affecting not to notice.
It must drive the Globe's resident shrill no-talent bitch crazy to be ignored like that.
Still, it is odd the way Joanie keeps trying to re-live her starring 2004 role as Boston's own Ann Coulter.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Drunk Before Noon?

Here is the scoop.

Yeah, yeah, I knowits the National Enquirer, but they were a serious player iin Bill Clinton's Monica Scandal, so you never know they might be on to something here.
If it's true it would explain a lot especially Bush's sweaty bug-eyed nervous stammering press conference style and his fondness for bumptious boasts and threats; its the whiskey talking.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Romney visits Flood Damaged Greenfield Mass...

coerced into it by the badgering of this "The Little Blog that Cried" and others no doubt.
How else to account for his petulant and listless performance as he "toured" a flooded out trailer park (an irksome duty that has to have cemented his earnest desire to flee the Commonwealth soonest)?
The footage on NECN last night revealed a bored monarch who looked like he was being prodded along by off camera bayonets.
The Viceroy has lost interest and focus,while he still indulges in bizarre costumes for the weather (Mitt doffed his coat and tie for the cameras)its obvious he was trudging around like he'd been sentenced to community service or something.
Romney brought no good news to Greenfield (The Mayor thereof all but called Mitt a dilettante and dingbat on camera) and clearly couldn't wait to board his official SUV and high tail back to Boston to huddle with Michael Murphy as to which demogogic tax proposals will best sway the peasants of New Hampshire.
My Ghod what a difference up in the Granite State though, whole towns awash, bridges collapsing losses in the millions and Democrat John Lynch pounces on the crisis like a young tiger! He convened a committee of interested parties both public and private got the shelters opened up and earned high praise from Republican congressman Charlie Bass for his celerity and decision!
This is where Romney's neophyte political instincts fail him. You'd think in the wake of Hurricane Katrina etc he'd want to make a big show of the Commonwealth's disaster preparedness resources...but no a flooded town or two isn't even on Mitt's radar screen. the damn fool lets a perfect opportunity pass him by...lord even a inept hack like Ed King woulda seen the possibilities.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Mitt Romney can't find Greenfield Mass on a map

or the telephone for that matter, said Massachusetts town is flooded out and all the Governor's courtiers can do is snarl in condescension & derision.
Well, the reason for this is easy to see, if your Presidential strategy involves toadying up to out of state wowsers then showing any kind of concern for Massachusetts residents is bound to excite the animus of Spartanburg SC.
And we can't have that now can we?
First he heaps scorn on Massachusetts now he leaves us to bail ourselves out of a flood with Imperial Disdain.
Hell wasn't this the Willard Mitt Romney that Scot Lehigh was lauding for his quick action in opening up Camp Edwards to Katrina Refugees?
All this cuts to the core of Mitt Romney's entirely nonsensical theory of governance. If he regards the Commonwealth with such withering contempt then why in Ghod's name did he ever run for Governor in the first place??
To pump up his resume so he could run for President...from an office he himself can't wait to escape??
Does this make sense to anyone??
Humble Elias is Romney actually going to undertake a campaign for President on the promise to treat the nation as shabbily as he has served Massachusetts?
Frankly Mitt has a screw loose somewheres if he thinks this is the plan that'll carry him in Roman Triumph to the banks of the Potomac.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

"Well Heeled Bishop Warns of Theocracy Danger"

or so the Boston Globe's headline ought to read...
I'm gonna miss Romney (in my own fashion)when he finally goes over the falls in that stave barrel marked "Potomac or Bust"...because as craven, blustery, opportunistic and plain dumb as he has been the man has also been a source of solid hilarity.
Naught but guffaws should greet the spectacle of a Mormon Bishop, crawling off his plane in Raleigh N.C. squawking, flapping his arms and baring his incisors trying to gin up some terror over "theocracy".
This is the same sworn enemy of "theocracy" and a candidate for President who would happily kiss James Dobson's boney ass in the display window of Macy's all in return for the merest pat on the head.
Well, consistency has never been Willard's strong suit but when it comes to being a bumpious suck up and a drama queen, the Governor sadly has no equals.

Monday, October 10, 2005

You will have Al Gore to kick around some more...

or at least thats what US News and World Report is tryin' to gin up.
Clearly, US News is bored with reporting all the Bush Admin's catastrophes and embarrassments and would prefer to glide through campaign 2008 by calling Al Gore a faggot, a communist and a lunatic.
They could recycle their old stories and editorials, it'll be a definite cost cutting measure.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Diresome Coupling...

Rush Limbaugh (3 to 5 divorces and all) is apparently dating CNN Anchorperson Daryn Kagan.

And not a peep is heard out there with respect to conflict of interest.
however, trust me, if Katie Couric started knockin' boots with Ed Schultz by Ghod the media shistorm wouldnt't stop blowing til' Perdition.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Ah Autumn

when the indictments fall upon the land like acorns in Menotomy...

Romney wallows in approach-avoidance syndrome...

apparently according to the Globe's Metro page, Mitt is putting off an annoucement with respect to his political plans til' November.
Allegedly this is because he wants to get his health care bill through the Lege...but in fact his polls are down hus leadership is wasted and only Scot Lehigh seems to return his calls.
Given all that, he has to make the exit look good somehow...and like a fool he has glommed onto this trivial and fraudulent health coverage bill as the means to do so.
Frankly I think the boys on Beacon Hill will give the legislation all due props and blithely vote it down when the time comes.
Why vote for a bad bill now when they can bide a while until Reilly, Patrick, Galvin or Kennedy is governing and then write a good bill?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Interesting Post on Americablog

apparently Richard Viguerie and some of the other wingnut grass-eaters aren't happy with the Miers nomination. occurs to humble Elias that if Senators Kerry and Kennedy wanted to lob a 50lb shitbomb into the enemy camp they ought to call a live press conference and assert that "Ms. Miers seems like a sensible person"...
Nothing more.
And make sure their old colleague George McGovern is invited to sit on the podium as well.

That'd be enough to send every rightical chic mullah in America out into the street screaming for blood, dynamite and a fatwah on Ms. Miers.

Toadies in defense of Sycophants...

in today's Boston Globe Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) has this to say about Harriet Miers nomination to the Supreme Court:
"A lot of my fellow conservatives are concerned, but they don't know her as I do...She's going to basically do what the president thinks she should, and that is be a strict constructionist."

And this from the Senate's most embarrassing and nauseating Bush much for the strict constructionalist view of the separation of powers.
"She is going to do what the President thinks she should"...I mean screw the letter and intent of the law!
I guess George felt that brother Jeb would need someone on the inside when it becomes his turn to seize power....thats my theory on why the President would nominate the legal equivalent of a charwoman to Highest Court in the Land.

The nice thing about the Miers nomination is that it will revive the debate about Bush's dependence on courtiers and flatterers to function as President. And are these servile trucklers covertly or overtly manipulating him?

Puppet or Puppeteer? The debate rages on!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Humble Elias has a whacking great

cold, so he isn't much for blogging at the moment. However the Blue Mass Group is all over the Miers Nomination to the Extreme Court. Check it out...

The Only Problem with...

this bit of news is that the crooked son of a bitch can't run for re-election...and thus go down in a holocaust of fire and destruction before the democrats.