Friday, June 29, 2007

Oceania has Always been at war with Eastasia

In today's column Scot Lehigh snarks mightily at the expense of Mitt Romney by way of the Globe's own puff-piece series on the Former Viceroy and his amrvelously charmed rise from the depths of the overclass.
Well some of us vaguely remember a different Scot Lehigh back in the summer of 2005, one who kept insisting that Romney was engaged and on the job and just a tip top Governor whose CEO saavy and modern republican credentials made hima shoo-in for re-election.
Anyone else remember that? Was it before or after "Hate Week"?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Kudos to Elizabeth Edwards...

for at least trying to confront Ann Coulter's nasty un-American commentary with respect to her husband and his Presidential candidacy.
However, Humble Elias has to duly fault Ms. Edward's too lawyerly belief that she can somehow shame Ann Coulter into changing her act.
The fact of the matter is, Ann Coulter is a "controvore", one whose vast capacity for dangerous and outrageous commentary is quite literary her source of income. The crazier stuff Ann sez, the more her speaking fees go up...its that simple.
She might change up her act if Time Magazine, Chris Matthews or Bill Maher would stop enabling her, but believe me, that ain't gonna happen.
Under these circumstances with the lavish free ride Ann gets from the punditariat and the Cable News world, Elizabeth Edwards could bust Coulter in the mouth with a tire iron and it would do nothing but push the famed controvore in the $50,000 per speech bracket.
Now, Ann does play an important part in the current political debate, despite her contention that she was "joking" when she expresses a fond hope that John Edwards die in a terrorist assassination.
No...jokes are an important means to import controversial topics into the mainstream debate, in Ann's case she clearly wants a rigorous public discussion on the merits of liberal genocide.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Jury Duty

In this brave new Randian era of libertarian enlightenment, there are still a few Orwellian scenes available to the discriminating consumer.
Enpanelment being chief among them; One sits in a long ill air conditioned corridor below ground level on hard wooden benches bought seemingly in the boyhood of Calvin Coolidge from the quaint arrangement of carved grafitti. A bailiff keeps watch behind a blast hardened vault door, one is enocuraged like the "guests" in Mao Zedong's thought reform camps to read, reflect and keep quiet.
Every so often what appears to be an attorney in a blue blazer and mismatched brown slacks, knocks at the vault door, passes thru some paperwork or else ineffectually whines and pleads in a hushed tone.
Whatever it is he wants, be it a jury or a diet coke, he isn't getting it and is soon reduced to incoherent whimpers in the corner.
Eventually a bailiff, straight out of central casting with a voice like ripples in a shot of whiskey reveals we may go, our services no longer required by the Commonwealth's Judicial System.
The day's trials have ended in plea bargains, or outright flight to Vesco island, whatever happened, no one wanted to face a jury today.
Other than that, the only thing I learned is that is that Massachusetts Chief Justice Margaret Marshall sounds all the world like Elmer Fudd.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Keep Spending Mitt...

The Globe reports that Former Viceroy Mitt Romney has loaned his campaign another 3 million large from his considerable personal fortune. Anything to keep those polls numbers puffed up and up and up in the summery doldrums...such are the urgent woes of an empty suit.
Not for nothing, but Abraham Lincoln didn't have four different positions on slavery and he didn't need 350 million dollars or a bunch of cuthroat advisors to make himself president. No all he had was a few good ideas and an exceedingly potent brand of logic.
What d'ye suppose Lincoln would've made of such a vain, frantic candidate like Mitt?

How far we've are from 1860 mah frenz.

Monday, June 25, 2007

What did I learn from Steve Stark in this week's Phoenix?

Chiefly that Hillary Clinton is cold, distant, charisma-less & boring.
Which is only as much as what I could've learned if I'd read last week's Newsweek.
Ah but this is Steve Stark I'm talking about, a friend of mine once observed that Steve had the "uncanny power to predict the past". He has always passed himself off as a principled critic of the Clintons so we can expect more filler like this as the campaign unfolds.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Stem Celebration...

Today Jeff Jacoby lauds the President's stem cell policy even though the columnist himself does not accord entirely with Bush's view on the matter.
Jeff compares the "principles and ethical values" that have allegedly guided the President in respect of the issue with the science-first demogoguery of his opponents.
At first glance, this is a reliable Jacoby gimmick, the hearty well meaning morality of an embattled band of conservatives as opposed to the craven opportunism of democrats and liberals....ho hum!
It is an old story to be sure, the only surprising aspect is Jeff's credulous and naive belief in the purity of the President's motives, I man you'd a thunk Jacoby would've learned someting after seven years of GWB.
But no, right on cue, Jeff puffs out hs chest and reduces the debate on a denunciation of science worshipping liberals.
Waaal that may be so, but President Bush has a sort of "religious right first" policy, hell keeping Spartanburg North Carolina laughing and scratching has been the whole of GWB's domestic policy for seven years now.
From my perspective, this is less "Principles and ethica values" and more like craven truckling, selling out pure science in the name of sectarianism is always a cheap way to pay off ravenous supporters, more than a few of whom has skirted the laws of the Republic to keep Bush II in office.
Rightly, Jeff worries about where the line of morality is drawn as the research goes forward. Well we are all worried about that...I'm worried about a politically bankrupt loser of a president drawing that line to keep the dregs of his coalition going for a few more months.
However, before we can draw any line we need to know what exactly is on offer so that we can evaluate what the trade-offs physical and ethical might be.
Defunding research is foolish grandstanding, the work goes on financed by other means and in other countries as can't be stopped that way. If we don't choose to go forward, that doesn't mean that others won't.
The debate over stem cells ought to fgo forward lively and constant....and lets not assume anyone's motives are pure either.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Sighted the US Constitution on one of it's turn around cruises in the harbor

being escorted by a tug and few other well wishing boats...a stirring scene to be sure on such a beautiful day on the Harbor.
Maybe one of those trailer boats is from Fox25 News, they fruitlessly pester the crew of the Constitution to "run over a boat or two...c'mon we got a deadline here!"
And behind them, a boat from Newspanic Seven, also badgering the crew to shell the State House when they get turned around...or maybe have someone "walk the plank".
It's a joke mah frenz....

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Joanie Vennochi gets all worked up...

cuz' someone called John McCain a traitor.
Oh she is high dudgeon my friends, just seething with resentment towards our Rovian political war of all against all.
And you know what, she is right, politics has become debased, few politicians these days even bother to conceal the craven-ness of their motives or their own dangerous lust for power. Calling McCain a traitor (touched off by the senator's support for the White House's immigration bill) is a big and irrevocable step down for public discourse in this country.
My question is, where was this outrage when humble Elias stood next to a gleeful Bush supporter brandishing a "Kerry and Bin Laden in '04" sign back in November of that fateful year?
Where was Joanie when Kerry was being swift-boated or when the GOP distributed those god-damned band-aids emblazoned with the Purple Heart at their convention?
I'll tell you where she was, sniffing with disdain at the sheer ineptitude of the Kerry campaign's response...thats all we got out of Joanie.
She even has the nerve to insert this stony qualifier into today's column:
Republicans usually attack the patriotism of Democrats to score political points. It happened to Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts, another Vietnam War veteran, during his 2004 presidential bid.
One might also observe, that certain veteran columnists rarely come to the aid of a democrat whose patriotism is questioned or mocked.
No instead they just question or mock the democrat's response to the smear tactics.
In a nutshell, this is why I write the Chimes at Midnight, because in some sense the truth and my right to free speech is supposed to be protected by the likes of Joanie Vennochi. If however, Joanie won't speak up for someone as prominent as Senator Kerry when they are being smeared...then what chance does Humble Elias have?
Therefore, in some sense, Humble Elias must defend himself...and as Napoleon allegedly observed the best defense is a good offense.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Bloomberg drops the GOP

MIchael Bloomberg the jolly wealthy Mayor of New York City has changed his party affilation yet again, this time from the Republican Party to "Unaffiliated".
The punditariat down in DC is in a paroxym of joy, since many are interpreting this as Bloomberg's opening move in an independent bid for President in 2008.
This is the sort of feckless act of political narcissism that really really impresses the David Broders and Joanie Vennochis of this world. A well financed independent candidate like Bloomberg supposedly highlights the "breakdown in bipartisanship in DC" and the concurrent need for some strong silent type from the provinces to ride in and knock heads til the country is working again.
Many a political hack's career has prolonged for decades past their expiration date by writing hopeless rubbish like this.
The reality is, despite his billions, Bloomberg isn't advocating anything more radical than Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden, he may do some business in New York state but unless he comes out for rabbit genocide or invading Mars it's hard to see him going the electoral distance.

Monday, June 18, 2007

WTKK 96.9 FM Talk has ended an exhaustive search

and somehow somehow amidst a sea of radio bleeding hearts and bearded radicals found themselves a lonely conservative, one Michael Graham to be their new morning drive time yakker.
How they did it I'll never know.
My only question is this the same Michael Graham who was caught taking columnist payola from the Bush Administration back in 2005?
With a daily schedule that included everyone from Laura "Hollow Leg" Ingraham and Jay Severin, WTKK has succeeded in a line-up that looks less like America and more like Mussolini's last cabinet up in the Salo Republic.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Wowserdom meets it's Waterloo...

for now at least....

Well what can Humble Elias say except "Three Cheers for the Constitutional Convention"! Faced with a stark choice, they dug down deep and did the right thing....history will one day thank the Massachusetts State Legislature for this deed.

No doubt the usual suspects will scream long and loud especially in their cheerless enclaves beyond the berkshires, but right now, just for a moment, the Commonwealth stands tall in my mind, proud and charitable, brave and sadly alone.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Joanie sez if the Anti-SSM Amendment passes it's curtains for Deval...

She correctly deduces that the putting this awful law on the ballot is a major challenge to the Governor's entire agenda.

Of course, back on Wednesday January 3rd 2007, I said the same damn thing...except I wasn't so nasty about it.

Sa-ay you don't suppose Joanie reads the Chimes at Midnight do ya?
Naaaw never!
Truth be told it's an easy inference to make, I'm sure Governor Patrick made it back before he even won the election.
All the more reason to vote it down by fair means or foul, to put the rights of our fellow citizens to a vote, is to ultimately nullify our own personal sovereignty.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

JK in Natick this Saturday:


Saturday, June 16, 2007

Keiter Performing Arts Center
Walnut Hill School
12 Highland St., Natick

DOORS OPEN AT 3:30 p.m.
Program starts promptly at 4:00 p.m.

FREE and open to the public.

Senator Kerry will talk about the war and our future in Iraq and take questions from the audience on Saturday, June 16, from 3:30 to 5:30 p.m. at the Walnut Hill School in Natick. The event, hosted by the Natick Democratic Town Committee, is free and open to the public.

Please RSVP at or contact Karen at 508-650-4215.

For directions to Walnut Hill, please visit

Spend Mitt Spend...

Romney is being profligate with his cash in the lead up to the primary season so the Boston Globe reports today.
Of course, Romney is running on his dubious record as a tightfisted fiscal manager someone who will try to balance the federal budget without recourse to taxes.
There is something grimly ironic about a candidate who spends and spends like a drunken sailor on his own presidential campaign which is in turn built around the promise of bringing "fiscal discipline" Washington.
Physician heal thyself I say.
Well course, the Former Viceroy has to spend that money, otherwise he'd come off as what he is, a cold aloof distinctly uncharismatic opportunist of the first rank.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Naive' conservative group wants curbs on presidential power...

The American Freedom Agenda, a newly minted libertarian type conservative group recently asked GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney sign their anti wiretapping pledge.
Predictably, he refused.
I hate to clue youse guys but the main attraction that the presidency holds for jerks like Romney are all those lovely nigh-extra constitutional powers that GWB has created for the office.
Ideologically, Romney may be a chameleon and a clumsy one at that, but he has a nose for power and the scent has lead him unerringly to the banks of the Potomac.
"Power worshippers" is what George Orwell called em' and they are inevitable in today's political enviroment, and no power worshipper is gonna wanna give any of it back no matter how much it accords with conservative theology.
Good luck with that agenda fellas yer gonna need it.

Monday, June 11, 2007

U.S. Carriers are prowling the coast of Iran...

Marriage equality hangs in the balance in the Commonwealth, the President is received like a Boy Godling in Albania...and above the fold in the Boston Globe on a Monday a carping article about The Sopranos.

Such a civilization we got...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Joan Vennochi on Newbury Street

In her column in today's Sunday Globe, Joan Vennochi says the following with respect to the problem of homelessness in Boston:

"To rationalize my stinginess, I like to recall the woman on Newbury Street who approached me for a handout. When I gave her my meter money, she complained it wasn't enough; she expected more os someone walking into an overpriced hair salon".

My immediate reaction is this, just how the hell does Joanie Vennochi manage the miracle of parking at a METER on Newbury Street at all???
I've been driving in the gawd-forsaken berg since Kevin White was top swank the closest I ever got to parking on Newbury Street was a space in the direct shadow of M.I.T.
Is it a secret thing available only to the Globe's punditariat or something?
I mean never mind the alleged ivory tower caricature of a Globe columnist getting her mop coiffed & trimmed on Newbury Street....I wanna know the real deal on parking!
C'mon Joanie 'fess up! Da trogs wanna know da secret!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Who is Douglas Lute?

He would be the luckless sap of a three star general that the Bush Admin conned into becoming it's Iraq War "Czar".
He is making all sorts of earnest and hopeful noises to congress as part of his confirmation hearings but really nothing much can be expected of the poor guy.
After all just how is a three star general supposed to manage & control his nominal superiors the five star generals who comprise the majority on the Joint Chiefs of Staff? To say nothing of the Vice President of the United States a man with his own separate agenda and power structure within the Executive Department?
Nope, poor Doug Lute is there to provide a uniformed professional face to our disastrous policy in Iraq nothing more. If he can keep the lid on til November 2008 fine, if not, Bush will fire him in a bid to boost the GOP's electoral prospects...thats really all the poor guy is there take the inevitable fall.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Alewife Station's Parking Garage was crammed

this morning with BMWs & a fleet of Toyota Prius'.
It is commencement at Harvard don'cha know and not even the proud parents of our future rulers can resist a bargain like all day parking for $5.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Gop Debate Blogging.

Y'know...Mitt Romney really does look the part, like a skinnier version of "Tom Strong" the comic book super hero.
Things go south however as soon as he opens his mouth.
Mitt talks way too low and way too fast careening from talking point to sound byte...and this is when he isn't emitting a thick joyless cloud of cliches that is apparently designed to completely obscure his real thinking from everyone.
As far as the debate last night goes, it was a remarkably cheerless performance from Romney largely built around never ever answering a straight question, no doubt he'll keep this up until the New Hampshire electorate sends him packing with a big black bootprint on his ass.
And then there is former Governor/HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson, Romney's complete bizarro opposite in every way. From his lousy toupee to the bad eyebrow pencil-job, Tommy resembles a seesy circus clown on the bum. Nonetheless, he is the anti-Romney, incoherent and unintentionally funny where Mitt is simply dull and robotic.
When Thompson avowed that he wouldn't send George Bush to the U.N. as an acceptable post presidential sinecure, a sort of audible gasp went round' the room as if to say "is he really that slap-happy??"
Otherwise, the remaining nine candidates are a listless idea-deficient lot. In deference to his low polling numbers, they all made critical remarks about President Bush but really none of them will govern the country any differently, they certainly don't have problem one with GWB's autocratic leadership style, save perhaps Dingy Ron Paul.
They all wanna stay in Iraq and perpetuate the slaughter, the eleven only differ in the excuses they'll offer to keep the troops in.
Almost all their domestic proposals start with massive tax cuts and end with small to moderate tax breaks for the middle class.
If asked their policy on sending a man to mars, all eleven would no doubt propose dropping the top ate to nineteen percent as an important first step in exploring the planets.
In other words, these guys are all clones of George Bush Jr. don't let their alleged criticism of the White House fool you. If Bush was polling at a 55% approval rating they'd be barking the president's praise's like trained dogs and Dick Cheney would be the front-runner for the nomination.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Number Seventeen with a Bullet...

According to this, the little blog that cried somehow ranks seventeen in "influence" amongst local news and political type blogs.
My ghod, see what happens when you put christian piety in your heart and tons of invective on the internet!
Honestly, I couldna dunnit without Mitt Romney, Scary Kerry Healey, President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Don Imus, Mike Barnicle, Laura Ingraham, Tom Friedman and numberless book worshipers, autistic free market geeks, wowsers, Joanie Vennochi and that laughing young senescence, Jeff Jacoby.
I thank you all, you made it easy for me...really.
I thank you all, this obscure toe-hold on the outer reaches dim notoriety, will only spur me to fresh outrages.
As soon as I think of some.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Typical Joanie today....

Joanie Vennochi in her column from today's Boston Globe takes candidates Clinton-Obama-Edwards to task for backing out on a Fox News sponsored presidential debates scheduled for September.
She accuses the above presidential candidates of the capital crime of playing to the democratic party's base, knuckling under to (a prime critic of Fox News and said debate) and otherwise sniffs disdainfully:
"This marriage of left wing advocacy groups will hurt them in the general election".
Wa-al shee-it Joanie isn't that pretty much the same thing you said about Deval Patrick...remember that line you had the day after the primary about "Drinking the Deval kool-aid"?
Subtle Joanie real subtle.
Apparently, in Joanie Vennochi's theology there is no worse crime than playing to the democratic base, but then a lot of columnists out there are posessed of a strange inexplicable hatred of the democratic base. It is a common affliction among today's punditariat.
My feeling is, that if Senators Obama, Clinton and Edwards have decided that Fox News just might be a wingnut organization then more power to them for their sensible caution.
The fact is, Fox News is 24-7 GOP propaganda pure and simple, a fact Joanie delights in avoiding in today's chastisement.
Moreover, some of the democrats in the running have stopped playing by the Marquis of Queensbury rules, and that is what really pisses Joanie off.
They aren't placing themselves in a position to be torn apart on Fox News by the usual ass-holes, and that somehow makes them cowardly and inept so reasons Ms. Vennochi.
Well, Joanie Vennochi and sundry others may regard Fox News as a "legitimate news organization" but Hilary Clinton, John Edwards and Barack Obama are perfectly free to take an opposing view.
Joanie doesn't get that, she likes it when dems fall into the obvious traps any refusal to do so is simply infuriating to her.
Ah but don't worry Joanie I'm sure you and Fox News that "legitimate news organization" will both find some way to retaliate you always do.

Tagg Romney on CNN this morning with Wolf Blitzer:

Pepsodent should hire this kid, the fast melting polar ice caps do not shine as whitely as young Romney's perfectly formed teeth.
Sadly, the kid was reduced to abject bumblage when Blitzer started quizzing him about his father, Mitt Romney's immigration policy.
Well what of it?
Tagg cannot articulate that which is manifestly unclear in Mitt Romney's own mind.
Once again, Romney Sr. was caught on tape railing against the mass deportation of illegals and subsequently denouncing any policy that smacks of that hated word "amnesty".
So Tagg stumbled on and on before Blitzer mercifully cut him off and moved on to other things inane and obscure.
Such is life as CNN sees it on a Sunday morning.

Friday, June 01, 2007

The army is coming up short with respect to

well educated recruits so reports the Boston Globe.
And yet, the Dartmouth Review somehow soldiers on, fighting a desperate rear-guard action against liberal jihadism here at home or some such twaddle.
Their President's place is history is gonna defined by success or failure in Iraq.
Said President has asserted a "surge" of troops is needed for success in Iraq, so you'd think that the Dartmouth Review masthead would be depopulated of virile undergraduates who wanna die for GWB and his lofty principles.
This doesn't appear to be the case for a lot of kampus konservatives,they are willing to do most anything for their President except die for him.