Sunday, October 30, 2011

(Autumn Parable) A Governor of Texas rode to New Hampshire on a brand new

Harley Davidson motorcycle, wearing a black cowboy hat, well worn blue jeans, ivory handled six shooters strapped to his hips and a Winchester hunting rifle casually slung off the side of his "hog".
When he got to Antrim, he got off, shook the dust of the road from his gleaming cowboy boots and announced to a feckless and unimpressed crowd "Ah fixin' ta run fer President in these here parts! Better vote fer me..."
"What if'n we don't..." drawled a voice mockingly from the back.
"Waaal then I'll have ta persuade yew, Texas style", he smiled & stroked the butt of his revolver for emphasis.
Whereupon said firearm promptly discharged a round into the Governor's foot, who emitted a high pitched scream and started comically hopping up and down holding the injured foot in his hands.
While hopping around shrieking and cursing, his cuff got caught in the hammer of his other pistol which, did it's duty by firing another round into the remaining uninjured foot of the aforementioned Governor of Texas who promptly fell in such a way as to bring his motorcycle down on top of him breaking both legs with a sickening snap.
Enraged and humiliated and unburdened by common sense, the Governor of Texas attempted to "Shoot the motorcycle off him"with his rifle  but was thwarted at the last minute by his listeners who'd temporarily put aside their laughing jags to wrestle the Winchester away from him.
Thus the flinty natives of Antrim NH were treated to the heartening spectacle of a certain Governor of Texas pinned under a motorcycle with two neat bullet holes in his feet and alternately cursing liberals when he wasn't bawling for his mother in a sad desperate and cringeworthy way.
And as the EMTs were loading him into the ambulance the Governor of Texas was heard to wail "As soon as I scale back on my dee-bate commitments I'm gonna git the candy assed liberal community activists that snuck up and shot me in my feet!!"

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