Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Closers

Per Reuters, Mitt Romney has narrowed his vice presidential prospects to three candidates, and they are:

Ohio Senator Rob Portman: He is a freshman senator, but if he can put Ohio into play, then he is a powerhouse. Given his short resume, DC Patina (remember Romney is a Governor with no beltway profile or foreign policy cred) and a vital home state I'm calling this nonentity the most likely pick.

Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty: I'm not sure why Romney is so high on this guy, other than the possibility that the famously dull Governor makes Mitt look like Mick Jagger by comparison. Humble Elias strongly doubts Pawlenty can put his state in contention, he is likely on the list simply to hedge bets on Portman in case photos surface or something.

Louisiana Governor Piyush "Bobby" Jindal: Lets face facts, this mook isn't goin' nowheres. He took his nickname from Bobby Brady offa da "Brady Bunch", but the truth is he has a luckless streak & hangdodg expression that much resembles Gilligan from "Gilligan's Island".  Moreover he hales from Louisiana a state whose genial culture of corruption makes the Massachusetts Probation Department look like a bunch of sleepy Quakers. For that reason alone the country has yet to permit a Louisiana pol to "go national"...that and the fact that Romney already has that state in his back pocket mitigates strongly against Jindal. On the other hand maybe he polls well in Florida or there is some ethnic-electoral angle at work here.

Anyway my guess is, Portman....for now.

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