What will be the core topic of Jeff Jacoby's

Boston Sunday Globe column tomorrow?
I have some ideas:

1.) Terry Schiavo and a ringing defense of pro-life "bills of attainder" and congress' right to regulate every aspect of our lives, how we enter into it and now how we leave it. Jeff LOVES the phrase "culture of life", he thinks it resonates with local catholics a group he patronizes at every opportunity. HE thinks the peasants, serfs, and their popish priests will love him as a Prince of the Earth if he uses it often enough.

2.) "My Dearest Caleb" We are LONG overdue for one of these lugubrious exercises in sentiment. Jeff wallows in treacle thick and sure describing his hopes for his five year old son. Jeff if you are reading this, remember what happened when Hank Ketchum made an icon out of his son Dennis aka "Dennis the Menace" they ended up at each other's throats Dude!

3.) Triumphalism, you know Jeff can't stay away from it any more than the town drunk and stay out of taverns. Another already high five and a reflexive pat on the back for conservatism, no matter how high we can pile up the bodies nor how huge the deficit, history is moving the freeper's way so sez Jeff Jacoby.

4.) Pinkos on Campus and their simultaneous hopeless spinelessness and creeping blackshirtism. Many a played out hack on the far right has kept body and soul together for decades after the wellspring on creativity has run dry with this one precious topic.

5.) "Why isn't anyone paying attention to the TORTURE scandal?" Jeff's already promised part one of a two part anti-torture column, surely the latter piece will run tomorrow when the Globe's circulation is at it's highest? Of course, Jeff is right to denounce torture at the US controlled Abu Ghraib Prison in Iraq, but its equally worthwhile to note that this story broke last year and Jacoby kept a decorous silence all throughout the fall campaign. So while his willingness to break ranks is laudable, his timing speaks volumes about his true priorities. And then again, this is Jeff Jacoby, he may still try and pin it all on John Kerry.

My money is on #5 but we will see.
:)