Drive Time Dialectics

So...last week Don Imus, apparently overcome by a fit of jollity, called Howard Stern's girl friend Beth Ostrovsky a "bimbo".
The I-man then went on to air an skit in which it was implied that Beth had herpes or something like that.
Predictably Stern reacted with visceral hatred and rage promising dire if vague revelations about Imus' personal life before settling down today to promises of "a lawsuit".
In short just another typical day on drive time radio in America....the battle for ratings has entered the house-to-house fighting stage with no end in sight.
Imus is a senile old wretch and Stern is a corrupt reprobate and little more than a pimp with an F.C.C. license....their political views are remarkably similar both are loud righteous war-hawks who'd bat not an eye if Baghdad was nuked tomorrow morning.
Don and Howard have made millions off a lawless broadcasting milieu and a genial cracker barrel brand of demagoguery that is grotesquely called "entertainment" in these euphemism stricken times.
Both are craven George Bush worshippers of the lowest and crudest type and both of them have a pronounced authoritarian streak and a growing contempt for democratic society.
Let us not forget their morbid habit of wishing death on celebrities who deviate from their own dishonest pseudo populist line...these unfortunates run the gamut from the spineless (Bill Maher) to the crazy (Ted Turner).
So is it any wonder they are at each other's throat?
Yes I know, these two have a history, but they are also fighting over a static cohort of radio rightish listeners.
A sort of vulgar dialectic has set in, despite their rough similarity of their views Don and Howard are locked in a zero sum game for that magic white male listener stratum...the one with all that lovely moolah to spend.
Therefore, they've got nothing else to fight over except whose slack jawed trophy wife is a hottie...but fight over that they will because the outcome is a deadly serious paying proposition despite the surface tawdriness of it all.
Frankly at this point, I have to give the edge to Imus, any lawyer who would actually put brainless Beth Ostrovksy with her frightening little-girl voice on the stand is just asking for trouble.
Five minutes of testimony will be enough to conjure unhealthy visions of Beth dressing like a schoolgirl for the delectation of Howard in the minds of the jury.
She is truly that vapid I assure you.
On the other hand, Imus has to be raking something off the top for his so called "Cancer Camp" in the South West...the man is a sixty year old deejay fah crissakes he didn't last this long on the radio by indulging a puritanical refusal to steal.
And Imus has been married how many times with how many kids??
If it ever reaches "Court TV" I'll happily videotape every session as the resultant legal saturnalia will be a delightfully decadent forecast of the downfall of talk radio U.S.A.
Was it Lenin who said that competition is never more savage than just prior to the collapse of the olde order?
:)
Ah but I mock, no doubt Don and Howard's respective lawyers have warned them off this gaudy collision noting that the only victor will be Sean Hannity...or perhaps (dare I say it?) Jay Severin.
Who am I kidding here?
It is nice to think that sheer internecine warfare will kill off rightical chic talk radio but the supply of hosts is inexhaustible and there is apparently no limit to the potential loutish stupidity on the congressionally licenses public airwaves.
Sick
Demented
Typical...