Laura Ingraham on Imus today...

So, why are so many functional alcoholics attracted to Roman Catholicism?
As this post unfolds, this question will loom in relevance, so stay with me.
Laura Ingraham was on Imus in the Morning today....she was actually in the studio for the interview,
Now Imus is allegedly germ phobic so I suspect Laura has incriminating photos of her host in bridal drag or something.
Well flu season or not there she was as tedious and trite as ever despite her wa-ay too loud impersonations of Hillary Clinton and Al Gore.
Usually I'm exposed to the perils of falling asleep at the wheel whenever Ingraham makes one of her interminable Imus appearances, but today was special.
Laura revealed that she converted to Catholicism this year.
Yup thats right....MY CATHOLICISM!!! MY DAMN RELIGION!
Geezus Mary-n-Joseph we have to insist that the Bishop's poll the laity before letting in any adult converts...I mean forget the clerical sex abuse scandals and the misuse of charitable funds to pay hush money...letting in a screeching harpy like Laura Ingraham is just plain nuts!!
Is the R.C.C. that hard up that we are reduced to accepting drunken booze-worshiping viragos like Laura Ingraham?
We have to put a stop to this, we really do.
The Bishops are clearly pursuing an open door policy for any bum with a bankroll and a high Q rating.
And not for nuthin' Laura but you are figuratively speaking climbing into a burning lifeboat presided over by the dregs of the Hell's Angels!
I mean HE-LLO! The clergy are dying off (those that aren't under indictment), the church teetered on bankruptcy and the laity are about to inherit a burnt out hulk of a religion.
She claims to be an innocent "fallen Baptist" (and just what the HELL is that????!!!) who shopped around for a new religion and even took counsel from that social climbing dingbat Justice Thomas as to what was the hot new faith.
For some reason that is locked in his cold vengeful heart, Thomas (who has changed his own religion some three times so far including a stint as a Catholic seminarian) talked up the R.C.C.
A baptism, the Eucharist, and a confirmation later and now we are stuck with Laura Ingraham out in the pews flapping her arms and doing her too loud Hillary impersonation.
She will wear out her welcome quickly I assure you.
I'll bet the bitch stiffs us on the Stewardship Appeal when the envelopes come around.
Well...I suspect that Laura's alleged dipsomania didn't go down well the local Baptist divines so she went looking for a faith that would let her drink in peace.
The late Anthony Burgess became a Catholic late in life for more or less the same reasons. The conversion had an intolerable effect on the author's literary output reducing him to writing bizarro essays extolling the sexuality of Margaret Thatcher in the "Vanity Fair."
One might devoutly wish the same creative torpor to overtake Ms. Ingraham, but she is already a shrill boring witch who hit bottom years ago....

On the other hand it is kinda strange that the alpha queen bee of the United States of Junior High would go in for the One True Apostolic Church of Rome....because its always weird and annoying when the obnoxious head cheerleader suddenly goes all out for Jesus.
She's been setting the football team on you for three years now she's got to have a personal line to god as well!!!
In all a disheartening situation.
So Laura might just be a true believer...someone needy and insecure who requires the awe and majesty of the Papacy to function.
This was Anthony Burgess' official excuse for joining the R.C.C. back in the day, he saw the west being threatened the seventh century fanaticism of Islam, the only answer to that being the tenth century orthodoxy of Rome.
Of course the flip side of this is raw Orwellian power worship, let us not rule that motivation out.
Certainly Laura Ingraham has numerous bona fides when it comes to venerating authority and authoritarianism.
D'ye suppose deep in the heart of the confessional Laura would ever own up to simply being ENVIOUS of Hillary?
I mean doesn't the Junior Senator from New York have the whole rightical chic package, marriage, children, money, etc etc etc.?
She even declined to divorce Bill when the whole Monica deal-io came down, what could be more conservative than that???
I think Laura Ingraham secretly wants what Hillary Clinton has, why else does she obsess so on the Former First Lady?
Ingraham always dwells at length on Hillary in these Imus appearances...always....with a voice thick with raw unadulterated envy.
Lord God of Hosts I do pity the aged and careworn Prelate that must hear this awful vengeful she-brute's confession.
I really do.

My bet is she did it for the booze though.
The Curia in Rome is very tolerant of liquor idolaters like Ingraham and Burgess and Mayor Flynn etc etc etc....
Christ...some people just bite the bullet and go into rehab, not Laura though, she'll go through a dozen incarnations of the Almighty and sacrifice children to Vaal the Godzilla Head before she gives up her real Deity.
That would be "Jack" more formally known as "Jack Daniels"....
Such is the Kingdom of Heaven
On the Congressionally Licensed Airwaves and Elsewhere
10-12-03
God Save the Republic.