Thursday, February 05, 2004

Newsfreak....

Faced with a dearth of conservative opinion at virtually all levels of journalism, Newsweek magazine has bucked the conventional wisdom by hiring a real live rightical chic Dartmouth Review member to covered the 2004 campaign.
Ryan Gorsche, a pompous affected Dartmouth undergrad, has secured a priceless sinecure composing a column entitled "Minority Opinion".
Gotta give the kid credit, he has the gubernatorial sense of irony down pat.
Oh don't worry now, despite his Ivy League pedigree Ryan has all the simple-minded buzzwords down pat. He plaintively asks rhetorically three times in one column why "liberals don't speak out against terror?"
I of course am left wondering, why more campus republicans don't do something about terror-like maybe join the Marine Corps.
And anyway, just what does a 20+ year old boy have to contribute to the marketplace of ideas in an election year whether he is left or right?
Most of the DC punditariat comport themselves like snobby schoolyard cliques under the best of circumstances...one doubts Ryan can do anything to elevate the discourse despite his nominal maturity advantage.
Frankly, the exposure to Newsweek's so called "journalistic values" will only do the Ryan damage in the weary wicked end.
He is already crippled with a kampus konservative's unidimensional view of the world...how will Ryan's tender boyish sensibilities survive watching a vain power worshipping media whore like Howard Fineman in action?
I pity the hapless lad, I really do.
Soon enough the campaign will end and Ryan will end up pounding the pavement in Georgetown...begging for financial scraps from Richard Mellon Scaife and crying poor mouth at every well groomed door step.
He will talk dolorously of the awful oppression suffered by conservatives in Hanover N.H. capping his sad tail of woe with the Stalinist excesses at Newsweek magazine.
AND LO...the checks and loose change will roll in like a high lunar tide!
Another poor helpless campus conservative rescued at the last moment from the vast churning liberal tide...oh it will make a great book for Regnery with a introduction by Laura Ingraham and a blurb from Ann Coulter...
It is money in the bank kiddo...money in the bank.
Ryan Gorsche will be dining out on this experience for the rest of his life no matter how horrid he makes it all sound.
Believe that,
Player...

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