Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Rumor Tuesday:

So conservative pundit Armstrong Williams took $240,000 in payments from the U.S. Department of Education to promote the farcical "No Child Left Behind Act"?
Y'know The Department of Education doesn't amount to much in an Administration known for it's peasant-like hatred of culture and erudition. Normally when the GOP is in power they use the DoE as a roost for some skirt or person of color as an easy ass way to demonstrate the party's supposed devotion to diversity. Other than that, the DoE is a dustbin sinecure.
So it stands to reason that OTHER Cabinet departments, presiding over projects near and dear to the President's cold little heart might have even bigger sums to throw around as columnist payola. 240,000 isn't a whole lot of money by Washington DC standards. Aerospace lobbyists spend that much at lunchtime over the course of a single week. But its a nice chunk of change if you move out into the provinces wherein the GOP"s base has to be kept in a perpetual state of rage and excitement.
Therefore, Humble Elias suspects that if there other conservative opinion makers on the take, they'd be third tier syndicated scribblers in Des Moines or perhaps right here in Boston. Mind you, Chimes at Midnight has no names to offer...but its an ineresting question nonetheless. How much would the Department of the Treasury pay for an ongoing commitment from a pundit to social security privatization? How much would be on offer to go all out for invading Iraq?
Who knows? Scott McClellan the President's wretched fratboy mouthpiece certainly doesn't. When asked about this bizarre Hanoverian practice, McClellan plays dumb beautifully, Jessica Simpson couldn't do it better.
Humble Elias would just like to serve notice to the powers that be, that he IS between jobs and is prepared to undercut any other conservative columnist's price!

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