Monday, August 25, 2003

Elba in the Berkshires

The hot political story west of Amherst this summer has been the cautious resurrection of former Governor Jane "Jingle Money" Swift.
Yes indeedy Lady Jane has been calling old supporters, hosting a political barbecue in North Adams, and keeping an open line to her financial contributors.
Apparently the Former Governor is tired of waiting for The White House to call with the obligatory trifling job offer.
Or maybe she has just run through her swag, se was in office a mere two years after all, not much time to stock up on nuts for the winter.
The rumor is she is angling to run against U.S. Representative John Olver (pithily known through out Washington as the dullest man in the U.S. Congress)...political gourmands will recall Jane's doomed attempt to unseat Olver in 1996 which brought to a temporary end an otherwise undistinguished career in the State Senate.
So far Governor Romney hasn't got a problem with any of this, as it's been just a little too long since Jane Swift has yet another suffered a gruesome and appalling public humiliation.
It's stories like this that remind us of how laughably weak the GOP's bench is in the Commonwealth.
I mean they're trotting out a Former Governor that Romney took an unnatural thrill in beating like a red headed stepchild not one year ago, as a candidate for Congress?
Sad really...and no doubt Jingle Money Swift is lapping up the attention like the hapless cretin she is.
Usually the career path is, from congress to the Governor's office, but Jane has always lacked dignity and common sense when it came to the political basics.
Even if she wins she'd be but a single freshman congressperson yoked to Tom Delay's war chariot...not that it bothers Jingle Money obscure sinecure like that plays like vindication in her torpid little mind.
And anyway the notion that she can beat Olver is pretty dubious as well. Jane has a bad habit of either looking terrified and uncertain or else addressing her audience like they were five year olds...two months of this nonsense on the stump and I think the district will mark out hard for Olver.
Of course none of this bothers Governor Romney, he is perpetually short on candidates for lower offices and must make do with the dreck at hand.
Besides he may well take a gruesome pleasure in imagining Jane Swift yoked to a chariot and pumping those stubby legs around the U.S. Capitol.
As Jim Carroll sez "I doubt none of these speculations".

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