Monday, March 08, 2004

Another country heard from…

Mike Barnicle that swaggering beer swilling average Joe from the rugged hills-n-hollers of Lincoln Massachusetts is getting a columnist’s berth at the Boston Herald ere’ long.
Or so we read in today's Metro section of the Boston Globe.
Oh that is just what we need, another spineless faux populist up here in romantic Boston.
Well, Mike has been on a journey since he was fired from the Globe all those years ago.
It is not been a particularly original journey having cleaved ever farther to right from dependable critic of the Clinton aufklarung to groveling Bush apologist.
And despite being tossed off the Globe’s Metro section Mike has retained a sinecure at the New York Daily News and a lucrative local talk radio gig.
So clearly drifting rightward pays.
And lets face it, Mike is angry…you just know in his class-hatred sodden soul Mike thinks politically correct “swells –n-toffs” were responsible for his banishment from Morrissey Boulevard.
If only the editors at the Globe were burlap heavin’, bib overall wearin’, he-men like Mike, they’d a turned a blind eye to his mawkish fabrications and ordered up another round of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Or so goes the columnist’s logic when things get all quiet and subtle-like out in the gazebo.
Besides, becoming a “liberal” whose outrage is only directed against other liberals is the only way to go at the Herald…so look for Mike to turn on his “pal” John Kerry at some point.
Oh course, back in 1998 the Herald couldn't get enough of Mike's problems at the Globe, they covered the story in triumphant detail...the powers that be dismissed Mike as one who could never get hired at the Herald because he "didn't meet their standards".
Oh what a difference a mere six years makes...the Herald lowers the bar and Mike obligingly hards-a-starboard.
Speaking of standards though, the Herald is a paper dedicated to an entirely laughable notion of priggish 19th century morality yoked to a loud unsubtle editorial style. The op ed pages are full of homophobes like Howie Carr and creepy snitches like Robert Novak.
Yet for all this “Watch and Ward Society” bullshit, the Herald still takes advertising from x-rated videostores and the various adult retail outlets that dot Boston’s suburbs.
So given this level of build-in hypocrisy, a tawdry sentimental plagiarist like should feel right at home.
So get crackin’ Mike, churn out some so lugubrious copy about “Big Joe” sittin’ on his stoop in Roxbury dickin’ on the state lege for “foolin around wit’ gay marriage” when we don’t have enuff cops round’ here”….crap like that is like falling off a log for you by now.

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