Stark Revelations…

I popped open the Globe today and what greeted my eyes? A guest column on the op-ed page written by that The Notorious H.A.C.K- Steve Stark!
Good grief I thought that yob had taken a powder eight years ago!
Purists will recall that Steve was once the Globe’s in house liberal Clinton-hater. Not a week went by that he did not predict Bill’s imminent political demise and removal from power all delivered up in an annoying, whining, lip smacking tone.
Next to Mike Barnicle (the Ambassador from Caucasiastan) Steve was the biggest Clinton obsessive at the Globe…absent Jeff Jacoby of course.
What was worse, Steve was also the Globe’s designated cultural commentator. This was a sinecure that compelled Stark to go whoring after the most trivial and inane trends in popular cultural and bring them back to the Globe’s readership with the breathless self-satisfaction of a big game hunter.
I seem to recall a whole column devoted to “pogs” and why they were somehow like…important…y’know?
The worst thing was when Steve tried to wrap his cable TV educated mentality around the movies…somehow “Forrest Gump” symbolized the plain people’s revolt against elitist Clintonism or some garbage like that.
He was always painful to read but also funny in a pompous unintentional way.
In the end the man was a mess prompting at least one of my friends to dismiss him as “The Man who can Unerringly Predict the Past”.
I always thought of him as a sort of magpie of mediocrity, only the bright, shiny, and most of all obvious attracted him.
The best example of his classically torpid nonsense is today’s guest column in which he asserts on the basis of no evidence that presidential debates somehow reflect contemporary television values. Kennedy-Nixon was a variant on the early sixties Quiz Shows, Bush-Dukakis was “Jerry Springer” on the national stage…Steve then advises John Kerry to turn this fall’s debates into a kind of “Survivor” pastiche.
Good lord have you ever read anything so foolish in your life???
Give Steve credit though, he could churn crap like this out twice weekly without batting and eye and all by turning on his television and letting in the wisdom.

The endnote to the column triumphantly asserts that Steve Stark is living in England now and working on “A cultural history of the Beatles”….if anything sums up Steve’s nigh worship of the painfully obvious it is that. Peace to George and John’s ashes, they are so gonna need it.

Sick
Demented
Typical