Sunday, January 06, 2008

Twilight of the Fraud...(?)

There is no beating around the Bush, Mitt Romney is a colossal bore. He may be unthreateningly handsome, well groomed with a morbidly perfect family, but that clacking machine gun monotone of his is a reliable and cost effective substitute for surgical anesthesia.
Yes indeed, late in the game, Humble Elias made the trek into New Hampshire to see Mitt's stump speech in it's natural setting, a GOP rally evenly divided between news media and actual attendees. The setting is built around a huge "To Do" List composed of poll-tested over-marketed GOP effluvia...I can't recall a single point out of the twelve or so listed, certainly whatever was up there was uncontaminated by any originality. Anyway, the list itself is unimportant, Mitt can't implement any of it even if he really wanted"s a campaign gimmick and a cheesy one, whoever dreamt it up was paid too much for the work as furnished.
By the way, if you are interested in what Barbara Anderson is doing these days, she is pimping hard for Romney, introducing him at events all over New Hampshire. Babs tends to rattle on and on about Prop 2.5 and other oddments of no interest to the locals during her warm-up.
A thought just struck me? Is Babs still pro-choice? Or has she flipped on that out of love for the Former Viceroy?
Well whatever her stance on abortion, she is resolute in her immoderate praise for Citizen Romney, which only begs the question "If Mitt was such a great governor why'd he abandon Massachusetts after only one term?"
And then Mitt comes out in a gleaming white button down shirt and tie belching a whole bunch of promises he will never condescend to keep including a solemn pledge to end partisan strife in DC, which is hilarious given the gruesome and nasty tenor of his current round of attack ads.
He also made the usual demogogic noises about illegal immigration which got him the expected animal roar of approval - indeed this was his strongest applause during the whole appearance. Then there is his plan for universal health care by imposing universal thrall-dom to the insurance companies, his pledge to make strong families a national security issue and his solemn promise to over-ride death and divorce courts to ensure every household has a mommy and daddy.
It'd be scary stuff if Romney believed any of it, but his tone is so rushed and robotic, you just know he thinks very little of his own promises.
His voice never rises about a hurried monotone, eyes glaze over all around the room when he started spouting detailese which are the short of trivial factums that have to be piled up high to make a fundamental cliche' seem formidable.
Ironically, this is where Mitt is at his dullest, it is also when he almost makes his peace with the Commonwealth, citing all sorts of "progress" made by him under his enlightened Viceroyalty.
All of which AGAIN raises the question "If he was such a superhumanly effective Governor why did he leave after one term and turn the corner office over to a liberal democrat as well?"
Good thing everyone was so enervated by the tedium otherwise all sorts of ackward questions might have cropped up.
The event was billed as "Ask Mitt Romney Anything", it shoudl have been called "I'll answer FIVE and then I'm out of here!"
Of those five questions, tellingly, only two were asked by actual residents of New Hampshire...clearly there were a lot of out of state well wishers in that room as evidenced by the many Massachusetts license plates in the parking lot.
Then Mitt tells an inspiring story, rings down the curtain and is done with yet another uninspired performance. Cliches are enunciated and then duly defended by even more cliches. Mind you, Mitt is earnest after a fashion, the way a telephone answering machine sounds earnest and helpful.
If by some miracle Romney is elected President, I predict the USA will have serious buyers remorse within six months of his inauguration. "I'll SAY anything you want as long as you vote for me" is always a bad presidential bargain that the nation lives to regret.
That my friends is all Mitt Romney has on offer.

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